4 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner

Embarking on a new chapter in my late 60’s as a newly-single woman has brought with it an altogether quiet kind of clarity. With more time to reflect and fewer distractions pulling me in every direction, I find myself looking back on the journey that brought me here, not with regret but with compassion for the woman I was in each decade of my life. Here are 4 life lessons I wish I knew sooner.

In My 20’s: Spread your wings

Oh, the 20’s. A decade of boundless energy, late nights, loud laughter and dreaming big. Life was about possibilities who we might become, where our careers might take us, and who we might love. Our friends were so integral to our lives they were so often our compass and our chosen family. 

Back then it felt like there was a script we were all trying to follow, find your calling, find your partner and settle down. 

But here’s what I wish I knew in my 20’s: there is no right way to do life. The timeline everyone else is on doesn’t have to be yours. 

In my 30’s and 40’s: Grow, Love and Let it be Messy

These were the “building years” , careers, marriages, children, mortgages, school events and not enough sleep. My calendar was ruled by carpools, deadlines, Tupperware parties, and yet these were some of the sweetest and most memorable years. Watching my children grow was an undeniable gift! Sharing this experience was undeniably priceless. My children were the greatest teachers. Developing friendships with our grown children creates a lifelong bond. 

There was joy, yes. But also exhaustion, self-doubt and a quiet pressure to “do it all”. I wish I had been gentler with myself, and above all, less invested in perfection and more attuned to presence. 

Here’s what I wish I knew in my 30’s and 40’s: It’s ok if you don’t have balance, Life is not meant to be perfectly managed, it’s meant to be fully lived. 

In my 50’s: Letting go with the transitions – 4 Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner

This decade brought a shift. Your 50’s can surely feel like a long exhale. After years of climbing, juggling and showing up for your kids, job, your commitments, something begins to settle. You may feel more grounded in your career, confident in what you bring to the table, and less willing to prove yourself to anyone. You’ve earned your place. The early hustle softens into something steadier. 

Parenting in this decade becomes a quiet kind of reward. You begin to see who your children are becoming, and there’s a beautiful satisfaction watching them step into their own lives. The years of lunch packing, late night worrying, car-pools, and hard conversations are all distant memories. But this is also a turning point with more space, comes a new question, “what now”? The role of an active parent begins to fade just a little. Your grief and freedom living side by side. And, that’s okay.

Here’s what I wish I knew in my 50’s: You don’t have to rush to fill the quiet. Let the stillness be a teacher. You’ve built so much now, give yourself permission to enjoy it. 

In my 60’s: Live Now, Don’t Wait! 4 Life Lessons I wish I Knew Sooner

Now in my 60’s, I see how quickly it all went. Retirement certainly is a common conversation now, how to do it, where to go, what it means. Many of us are in transition again. Some are reinventing themselves while others my be simplifying. For me, it’s been a time for deep listening, learning to trust what feels right for me. For these very reasons, recently, I have made the very difficult decision to leave a 20 year marriage.  

As we grow older, the call to conform begins to quiet, and the desire to live authentically grows louder. We learn to trust our inner compass more than the expectations of others. If you want to try something, do it! Don’t wait for the perfect moment, next week, or next year because fear is often the biggest roadblock. We’ve arrived at a time where a woman can truly create a life and lifestyles that reflect who they are, on their own terms, and with great success. And equally, men now have the freedom to define and align with their values, not just old expectations. In the end, it’s not about doing it all, it’s about doing what feels true. And that I’d tell my younger self, is more than enough.

We don’t get a rehearsal for this life. But we do get the chance, again and again, to return to ourselves, to what’s real, what’s honest, what’s ours. 

I am not done writing new chapters, and neither are you. What is your new chapter? These are my 4 life lessons I wish I knew sooner, what are some of yours?

Thanks for being here,

-Soraya

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